THE LORD GETS THE CHOP FOR MENTIONING CHOPPERS

Posted by Caledonian Jim in Daily Posts

A British government minister inflamed the row over logistical support for UK troops in Afghanistan (pictured above) yesterday by insisting they did NOT have enough helicopters. Foreign Office minister Lord Malloch-Brown – who is standing down at the end of this week – said: “We definitely don’t have enough helicopters,” adding that mobility was crucial for the dangerous operations being undertaken. He also further angered 10 Downing Street by stating that Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s political future looked “incredibly bleak”. And all this was on the same day that the Prime Minister insisted that the troops DID have enough helicopters. Just as well the noble Lord Malloch-Brown is standing down – telling the truth never sat easy with working for the Foreign Office – or with working for Gordon Brown.

America would arm its allies and extend its “defence umbrella” across the Middle East if Iran succeeded in producing nuclear weapons, the US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (pictured above) said yesterday. Mrs Clinton’s statement at the ASEAN meeting of foreign ministers in Thailand swiftly provoked an anxious reaction from Israel. Israel’s minister for intelligence and atomic energy, Dan Meridor, was angered at the implication that Iran’s nuclear status might be regarded as a strategic reality. “I was not thrilled to hear the American statement that they will protect their allies with a nuclear umbrella, as if they have already come to terms with a nuclear Iran,” he told Israeli army radio. “I think that’s a mistake.” Not to worry Dan – if the Israeli Air Force has anything to do with it, I’m sure it will never happen.

A party of British schoolchildren (example above) suffering from swine flu were treated like “dangerous criminals” before being kicked out of France, it emerged yesterday. The astonishing example of Gallic racism saw the 14-year-olds and their teachers being forced to wear surgical masks and shoes while being treated by medics in anti-contamination suits. ”It was if we were dangerous criminals,” said a member of the party from Lea Manor High School, in Luton, Bedfordshire, who said that official complaints were being prepared through diplomatic channels. The source, who asked not to be named, said: “We were treated appallingly. The French wanted us back across the Channel as quickly as possible. It was a horrendous ordeal. When people saw us in our masks we were sworn at and told to go home to our disease-ridden country.” A bit rich indeed coming from bloody arrogant malodorous frogs.

Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair has said he would consider toppling Zimbabwean “President” Robert Mugabe (pictured above) if he was still in power at No.10 Downing Street. “If you can do it then you should do it,” he says in an article in a German magazine that hits news-stands today. “I think whoever has the possibility should topple Mugabe – the man has destroyed his country, many people have died unnecessarily because of him,” said Blair. It’s a pity that Mr Blair didn’t operate using the same criteria when he was cosying up to George W Bush.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi (pictured above) yesterday attempted to provide a simple explanation for his recent behaviour as the debate continued to rage over the release of sensational audio tapes that purportedly prove his encounters with a Bari prostitute last year. “’There are a lot of pretty girls about. I am no saint but you know that,” said Mr Berlusconi. A politician telling the truth. How refreshing.

It was announced yesterday that Google Wave (above), a new service enabling users to exchange messages, images, songs and videos in real time, will be released to 100,000 hand-picked Google enthusiasts in September. Technology correspondents are gearing up for months of speculation at the impact of yet another bold announcement from the Californian company. In this era of Twitter and Facebook, with hundreds of millions of internet users hooked on letting the world know what they’re up to, it’s Google’s belief that there’s room in the market for yet another service. I wish I understood how to use any of them !

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