The Archbishop of Canterbury has attacked the bonus culture of the City of London’s financial sector, condemning the failure of bankers to “repent for their excesses”. Dr Rowan Williams (pictured above), who has consistently taken a left-of-centre line on economic issues, said that the Government should have acted to cap bonuses. He warned that the gap between rich and poor would lead to an “increasingly dysfunctional society”. Dr Williams said: “There hasn’t been a feeling of closure about what happened last year. There hasn’t been what I would, as a Christian, call repentance. We haven’t heard people saying ‘well actually, no, we got it wrong and the whole fundamental principle on which we worked was unreal, empty’.” Asked if the City was returning to business as usual he said: “I worry. I feel that’s precisely what I call the ‘lack of closure’ coming home to roost.” Good of the learned Archbishop to take time out from his advocacy of the introduction of Sharia Law in the UK to comment on the recession. Come to think of it, he may unwittingly provide a Sharia solution – if the banks couldn’t charge interest because of Islam, they’d boost the economy or go bust quicker than you could say “Shut up, Sharia Archbishop”.

And more religious nonsense. It has been claimed that not since the Reformation has England seen a pilgrimage like the one taking place at the moment. Yes folks, it’s the bones of St Thérèse of Lisieux (pictured above, with former Hitler Youth and Nazi anti-aircraft gunner Pope Benedict XVI in close attendance), whose mortal remains within hours of touching down on British soil attracted a queue of hundreds of deluded adherents who snaked around the Roman Catholic cathedral in Portsmouth merely to light a candle and touch the Perspex encasing the jacaranda casket in which (allegedly) repose the relics of this 19th-century child-like nun.

At least 3,000 more simpletons turned out for 3 services, including two Masses in the cathedral for young people, the sick and the local community. The closest comparison might be to the Middle Ages, when “pardoners”, or salesmen, would travel the countryside hawking the “relics” of dead saints to credulous Roman Catholics who believed that they could buy themselves less time in Purgatory. And incredibly, it seems we still have these gullible fools in the 21st century. They’d do better asking their Archbishops to make sure there’s no money grabbing priestly paedophiles organising the rip-off. Will these religious freaks never learn ? It will serve them right if Tony and Cherie Blair show up.