That epitome of inexperienced banal incompetence, even by the inane standards of New Labour, UK Foreign Secretary David Miliband (pictured above), is set to describe the prospect of warmer world, with alligators basking off the coast of Sweden, a vast desert surrounding most of the Mediterranean Sea and a largely uninhabitable mainland Europe, when he heads up British attempts to persuade rich countries to put climate change at the top of their political and economic agendas. Arch climate-whinger Miliband, doubtless supporting his equally banal brother, Climate Change Minister Ed Miliband (nothing like New Labour for keeping it in the family) will address EU, French, Swedish and Danish foreign ministries in the next 48 hours.

He then travels to New York where he will meet foreign ministers from other rich countries next week to hammer out details of a major treaty on global warming ahead of UN talks in Thailand, which will conclude at a crucial summit in December in Copenhagen. A Foreign Office spokesman said using powerful climate change imagery to concentrate official minds was justifiable because the worldwide geopolitical implications of profound climate change were so enormous. Bollocks. If all these concerned politicians stopped flying about everywhere at our expense to these first class climate junkets, CO2 emissions would fall off dramatically. And in any case, as Foreign Secretary, shouldn’t David Miliband stop acting like some schoolgirl worrying about the dolphins and start concerning himself with foreign affairs ?

Another British cabinet minister visiting foreign countries to tell them how to govern while the UK itself is in a shambles. China should address human rights concerns if it wants the 20-year EU arms embargo to be lifted, UK Business Secretary Lord Mandelson (pictured above) told young officials in Beijing yesterday. Mandelson also told an audience at the Central Party school – which trains middle and higher ranking Communist cadres – that promoting human rights such as freedom of expression would help China’s economy to continue growing in the long run. Interesting that – an obsessive concentration on human rights – especially for criminals and racist Islamic clerics – and freedom of expression have done nothing recently for the UK economy.

The arms embargo was imposed following the bloody military crackdown on supporters of pro-democracy demonstrations in Tiananmen Square in 1989, in which hundreds, possibly thousands, died. Lord Mandelson is leading a delegation of British businesspeople to promote trade and co-operation in a range of areas, particularly low carbon economic development. His speech to the school focused on combating protectionism, promoting economic and financial reforms, and tackling climate change. He might have been better talking to the G20 – or the forthcoming Labour Party conference. And it’s striking that to our politicians, a Chinese massacre 20 years ago is unforgivable but a Libyan mass murderer who struck 20 years ago is an OK guy. Pity China doesn’t have oil to spare.

In the UK the New Labour government will “ot flinch” from making cuts in public spending in order to bring the soaring financial deficit under control, the Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling (pictured above) insisted yesterday. The Chancellor paved the way for spending cuts, making it clear in a keynote speech that even his party’s top priorities such as the National Health Service (NHS) could be hit. He stressed though that the Government was determined to bring public debt under control after the recession and would never risk the UK’s “fiscal sustainability”. By the way, for our overseas readers, “after the recession” actually means “after the election”.